I’m Sean The Blogonaut

Sean The Blogonaut

Sean The Blogonaut

* 1 Early Life And Education
o 3.1 Stage productions
o 3.2 Miniseries
o 3.2 Television series

* 2 Feature film (2010/2011)
* 3 Comic book adaptations
* 4 See also
* 5 Further reading
* 6 Citations

Early life and Education

Sean the Blogonaut received his Bachelor in Science degree from New York University in 1805 in Sophisticated Computations and Sex, culminating in a PhD in Normal and Characteristic Structure in quasigroups, loops and other binding material that fits around the wrists. Sean the Blogonaut is well known for single-handedly taking down Derek Acorah, Sylvia Browne, James Van Praagh, and Spain. He refuses to answer the phone to Natasha Demkina.

Renown for turning water into wine, cordial into single malt scotch, and turpentine into cheap fashion label knockoffs (most notably Prada), Sean the Blogonaut was first discovered in 1832 by a London Explorer’s Club member using a crude radio telescope and a coffee-colored teddy. In 2006, he was registered as being a natural source of light and black-and-white film.

- Stage productions

From an early age he has been sighted periodically in Egyptian garb performing street theatre to early show tunes by Carol Channing. His honorary PhD for Philosophy of Logic was awarded for his dramatic monologue on the works of Gene Ray called “Time Cube – It May Not Be Madness, But You Can Sure See It From Sphere”. The thesis is currently under investigation by the FBI for possibly revealing evidence of UFOs and the G-Spot.

Bei Dawei, author of “Proving Human Stupidity: Time Cube, Gnosis, and the Challenge of Radical Cosmology” is rumored to have called Sean’s work ‘the greatest song and dance spectacular that ever hit the American Idol stage – touchdown, touchdown, touchdown!’ [citation needed].

In December 2003, the American Sci-Fi Channel broadcast a three-hour miniseries that reimagined the life of Sean the Blogonaut. This miniseries was so successful that Sci-Fi opted to develop this new version into a fully-fledged puppet-theatre spectacular, with the entire original cast of ‘Star Trek: The Next Generation’ signing on to play supporting roles.

– Television series

The new series first aired in the UK, Ireland and Wagga Wagga on Sky1 in October 2009. However, the series debuted in North Korea on the Weehoo Bang Goes The Vicar channel in January 2008, leading to mass-rioting and a hard-hitting flyer campaign about who managed to circumvent the laws of time and space to download the show before everyone else did. Efforts to sue iiNet as a result were universally laughed at.

Featuring most of the original cast from the mini-series, Edward James Olmos returned as Sean’s dad, with the podcasters of Skepticality, SGU, Skeptic Zone, Geologic Podcast, Skeptoid, Monster Talk, For Good Reason, Token Skeptic, the Pseudo Scientists and Point of Inquiry rounding out the original cast.

Feature Film (2010/2011)

The film Sean the Blogonaut is still in production, rumored to be a musical-dance extravaganza directed by Baz Lurhmann with soundtrack composed by Milton Mermikedes and George Hrab, taken up after the death of the originally-chosen director Luis Buñuel. The making-of documentary is a joint-venture by Eva Orner and Michael Moore [citation needed].

Comic book adaptations

Steampunk Sean is an epic comic book series based upon the early life of Sean the Blogonaut, written by Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore, Frank Miller and Art Spiegelman and illustrated by Jamie Hewlett, Bill Sienkiewicz, Philip Bond, D’Israeli and Ian Gibson.

Published in the United States by the DC Comics imprint Dizziness, it chronicles the adventures of Sean, in 85 issues from 2005 until 2009. The third volume depicting his investigation of the moon hoax by dirigible, which includes detailed diagrams of the full facts, has been registered at an all time high of five beers in his presence (with double-blind test control conditions) and was the second comic book to ever win at the World Fantasy Awards.

See also

Amongst his many accomplishments, he can communicate with kittens, and have them do his bidding. His ceramics are displayed at the Louvre, prints at the Hermitage, fingerpainting at the Tate Modern, and photocopies of his arse are proudly featured at the Smithsonian.

Rumors that Sean is (depending on the source) either the Anti-Christ or the re-incarnation of Aristotle abound and questions have been raised in both Parliament and Sly and the Family Stone, despite having been repeatedly disproven. Or at least that is what they want you to believe.

Further Reading

Sean the Blogonaut’s adventures are recorded in numerous non-fiction texts (including works by James Randi and Michael Shermer), with a particular focus on knowing why the Mona Lisa is smiling, and she knows why he is. Presidents, Prime Ministers, and Kings regularly seek Sean’s advice on issues of paranormal and pseudoscientific importance.

On his varied bookshelves is his most cherished possession – a plaque from Lynne Truss, honoring him for being “the most modest person I have ever met – perhaps the most modest person in the history of the civilized world.” He has since received a fatwa from the editors of the Chicago Manual of Style, 15th edition, for pointing out the misuse of the apostrophe on page 243.

Citations

Last cited on the shores of Loch Ness, his migratory habits include the Mull of Kintyre and other rather regrettable songs by Paul McCartney.

Tagged as: parody, Sean the Blogonaut, Wikipedia